Stages Of Life......

You might be thinking what has happened to me that I am writing on such a topic that defines the various stages of life. This study is done by various scholars and Indian Saints in the past and I don't know when those TOI people turn up with some new research developed in this field too (which they usually do). Well my research is based on a lot of facts which I think can dislocate any research theory on this topic.
The Indian saints divided the human life in 4 Ashramas according to the age and responsibility of a normal human being. The 4 stage division according to our Vedas (the ultimate source of Wisdom) is as follows:

1) Brahmacharya - (20-25 years) This is the time when a man leads the life of a student and practices celibacy.

2) Grihastha - (25-50 years) In this stage a man has to balance both his social and familial duties. He gets married and takes care of the society and his family and puts his knowledge to use.

3) Vanaprastha - (50-74) This is the step to partial renunciation. This is the time when a man starts searching the path which will lead him to the divine.

4) Sanyassa - (74-till death) In this stage, a man completely snaps off his worldly ties. Men becomes ascetic and devotes his life to God's service.

Even though this system of life is still followed consciously or unconsciously in India and other countries, I dont believe in such a system. After all, who lives such a long life.nowadays? A man and not to forget a woman studies for an average of 28 years and gets married at an age of 32-33 years. I have seen people work even after getting retired which cancels the probability of a man turning out to be a Sanyassi. Everyone live for themselves these days. So the Vedic system becomes crap if applied today.

Here is the system which I advocate to be true if applied to a man living today's life. The theory has been named as 'The Nuts Theory Of Living' and considers no age boundaries or responsibilities that the past Vedic system considered. So 'The Nuts Theory Of Living' goes like this:
     
              The various stages in the life of a man are given as under:

1) Bachpan - All the time which has gone by or the past time in a man's life is Bachpan. I have heard people say (including me) that ," Ye to bachpan ki baat h yaar", even if the event has occured a day or a minute before.

2) Kacchi Jawaani - As advocated by some of my mates, this is the time of life when you start ma&;t$*b@ting. I think you can understand what brought these people to such a conclusion. Then there are people who say that Jawaani is the time when your face gets filled up with a lot of  pimples and whiteheads. Some relate Jawaani with the appearance of beard and mustache.
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3) Pakki Jawaani(Middle Part of Jawaani) - This stage is defined by having a girlfriend no matter you are studying in a school or a college. If you are roaming around with a girl then people come and say that ,"Jawaani pakki ho gai" or " Ab to londa pakka jawaan ho gaya."

4) Gai Jawaani (Oldest Part of Jawaani)- This stage is marked when your life is pissed off by various girls and now you are going to do a job or breaking up with the present girlfriend and making up with the old one again (if you are lucky enough then a new one). People taunt you saying ," Gai Jawaani.beta." You meet people with lesser regard and say ," Apna to Budhapa aa gaya yaar."

5) Adherh (अधेढ़) - When you realize that ," Sab Moh Maya h." This situation arrives twice I think. People just couldn't tolerate anything and become frustated with their life due to work load or study load.

7) Jawaan Budhapa - This stage occurs when you are fully pissed off by your job that you are doing from a long time and want to travel the whole world with your spouse. This might occur at a very early age nowadays as high earning professionals get into this condition much faster than those earning a decent amount.At this point of time, you spend your savings. You consider yourself as the youngest person alive and do things that you couldn't do even when you were young (The adrenaline rush). People might point you out saying ,"Budhape mein Jawaani chha rahi h."

6) Budhapa - This is the time when you realize that you are good for nothing and no one in this f*#king world cares for you. This might occur to you anytime in your life (No age boundaries dude). You become a burden on Earth as soon as this thought comes to your mind. So don't ever think this. You no longer want to live and the thought of "Moh Maya" keeps on tickling you.


This theory is much more applicable in the lives that we are living today. Applied to the so called mango people, I feel this theory suggests a person's real stages of life.
I don't know what researchers would do with my theory but I am convinced that this theory will surely send some scholars to come and take my interview on the research I did. I am open to make amendments to the theory if I get the proper evidence of your suggestive points. So, what are you thinking people?
Still stuck in the Stages of Life?
Nuts