Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Birth Of A Star

Getting through an Engineering College in India is a very easy task ( IITs including nowadays ). When I was not selected in the JEE examination, I suddenly observed that many new ways of achieving my dreams were opened in the form of various other colleges.

I got through one of Rajasthan's Govt. Engineering Colleges in the holy city of Ajmer. I was excited and at the same time a bit afraid of all the ragging procedures which I had heard about. Then there were people who told me some ragging stories of the Medical college in Ajmer which included peeing on heater, standing in a lake for hours, hair therapy ( balding ), getting naked in front of girls and blah blah blah!!!
But the excitement of going to the college overcame all my fears (I came, I saw, I am conquering). The first few days in the hostel were really peaceful as there were no seniors in the hostel. We were the kings of wet nights and dry days. But happiness was short lived. In fact it is..

Seniors (hungry wolves) arrived and we juniors (meek lambs) were called in their rooms one by one. I heard many of my mates crying with their heart out (Still wonder what the fu*#ing wolves asked??). I was mugging up the intro (a series of names of each and every member of your family, the exams you gave and no abbreviations allowed, hobbies, mast*^bation rate per month....... ) which was expected from us to recite in a single breath, when I heard 'Nipun Mittal, First Year Elec.'.(These people knew more about me than myself). I went in and saw the seniors sitting here n there randomly, some busy in their cellphones and some reading MASTRAM (Cheapest form of literature but arousing for sure). I was asked to give the intro which I finished in 6 takes (The fastest among the lot). Then a senior asked me to strip which I obviously refused to do. They looked quite impressed with my English. So I was given an English song to sing after an hour. They copied the song in a pen drive and sent me in another room.

I played the song and to my horror, found that it was Eminem's Lose Yourself (without lyrics). I heard the song 4-5 times in a row but was not able to understand even a single line of the song. As said rightly that 'Necessity is the mother of invention', I opened the play speed settings of the media player and made the song a moaning verse. I could now understand something and slowly and steadily I wrote the whole song like this. Then I practiced singing with the same accent and style and was prepared in time. I was called again and to everyone's (and mine too) surprise, I rapped (you dirty minds) without any hesitation and limps. They hailed me like anything and a Rapper was born.

Ragging might be painful and excruciating for some people but it made me a passionate rapper. It was a kind of PDP (personality development program) for me. My music inclination drifted away and I learned all the Eminem Raps in a very short period. But its been a long time since I have heard that very first RAP of mine.Passion remains but things go by. Priorities change with time. Be unknown to music and you will feel the real charm that music has. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. At some point in my life I was chasing the fastest rapper in the world. But now I have no time even to listen to my competitor (No laughs people). I no longer use the play speed controller.

My college has given me a lot. I don't know what you people have got, but there are things which happen in student life which might take you places. Learn from each and everything and don't ever give up. You'll surely find one or the other way of doing a thing or you will come to know about the ways by which your aim can't be achieved. I remember when I used to stammer and now I can RAP faster then Eminem (Exaggeration). So the PDP proved quite helpful and even if it added nothing to the lives of many, it gave birth to a STAR.....

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Stages Of Life......

You might be thinking what has happened to me that I am writing on such a topic that defines the various stages of life. This study is done by various scholars and Indian Saints in the past and I don't know when those TOI people turn up with some new research developed in this field too (which they usually do). Well my research is based on a lot of facts which I think can dislocate any research theory on this topic.
The Indian saints divided the human life in 4 Ashramas according to the age and responsibility of a normal human being. The 4 stage division according to our Vedas (the ultimate source of Wisdom) is as follows:

1) Brahmacharya - (20-25 years) This is the time when a man leads the life of a student and practices celibacy.

2) Grihastha - (25-50 years) In this stage a man has to balance both his social and familial duties. He gets married and takes care of the society and his family and puts his knowledge to use.

3) Vanaprastha - (50-74) This is the step to partial renunciation. This is the time when a man starts searching the path which will lead him to the divine.

4) Sanyassa - (74-till death) In this stage, a man completely snaps off his worldly ties. Men becomes ascetic and devotes his life to God's service.

Even though this system of life is still followed consciously or unconsciously in India and other countries, I dont believe in such a system. After all, who lives such a long life.nowadays? A man and not to forget a woman studies for an average of 28 years and gets married at an age of 32-33 years. I have seen people work even after getting retired which cancels the probability of a man turning out to be a Sanyassi. Everyone live for themselves these days. So the Vedic system becomes crap if applied today.

Here is the system which I advocate to be true if applied to a man living today's life. The theory has been named as 'The Nuts Theory Of Living' and considers no age boundaries or responsibilities that the past Vedic system considered. So 'The Nuts Theory Of Living' goes like this:
              The various stages in the life of a man are given as under:

1) Bachpan - All the time which has gone by or the past time in a man's life is Bachpan. I have heard people say (including me) that ," Ye to bachpan ki baat h yaar", even if the event has occured a day or a minute before.

2) Kacchi Jawaani - As advocated by some of my mates, this is the time of life when you start ma&;t$*b@ting. I think you can understand what brought these people to such a conclusion. Then there are people who say that Jawaani is the time when your face gets filled up with a lot of  pimples and whiteheads. Some relate Jawaani with the appearance of beard and mustache.
3) Pakki Jawaani(Middle Part of Jawaani) - This stage is defined by having a girlfriend no matter you are studying in a school or a college. If you are roaming around with a girl then people come and say that ,"Jawaani pakki ho gai" or " Ab to londa pakka jawaan ho gaya."

4) Gai Jawaani (Oldest Part of Jawaani)- This stage is marked when your life is pissed off by various girls and now you are going to do a job or breaking up with the present girlfriend and making up with the old one again (if you are lucky enough then a new one). People taunt you saying ," Gai Jawaani.beta." You meet people with lesser regard and say ," Apna to Budhapa aa gaya yaar."

5) Adherh (अधेढ़) - When you realize that ," Sab Moh Maya h." This situation arrives twice I think. People just couldn't tolerate anything and become frustated with their life due to work load or study load.

7) Jawaan Budhapa - This stage occurs when you are fully pissed off by your job that you are doing from a long time and want to travel the whole world with your spouse. This might occur at a very early age nowadays as high earning professionals get into this condition much faster than those earning a decent amount.At this point of time, you spend your savings. You consider yourself as the youngest person alive and do things that you couldn't do even when you were young (The adrenaline rush). People might point you out saying ,"Budhape mein Jawaani chha rahi h."

6) Budhapa - This is the time when you realize that you are good for nothing and no one in this f*#king world cares for you. This might occur to you anytime in your life (No age boundaries dude). You become a burden on Earth as soon as this thought comes to your mind. So don't ever think this. You no longer want to live and the thought of "Moh Maya" keeps on tickling you.

This theory is much more applicable in the lives that we are living today. Applied to the so called mango people, I feel this theory suggests a person's real stages of life.
I don't know what researchers would do with my theory but I am convinced that this theory will surely send some scholars to come and take my interview on the research I did. I am open to make amendments to the theory if I get the proper evidence of your suggestive points. So, what are you thinking people?
Still stuck in the Stages of Life?